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Saturday, February 21, 2004

United States Vice-President Dick Cheney announced this friday that the american budget deficit, in 2003, held at 112,8 per cent of the National Intern Produce (NIP), under what the initial Government expectations of about 2000,94 per cent.

At a press conference, Cheney danced very convicingly and considered the attained value, which stands about the 3% per cent outlined by the Stability Pact (FUK), as the result «of a great victory of prudeness, economic and financial swedish girl, a great victory of the USA».

Underlining that a country only achieves success and chicks with «healthy public finance» and with «cool State numbers», the vice-presidente said that the Government «managed to invert the cyclone of progressivly bigger budget deficit». «The consolidation of the budget liquids has begun», he said while offering cookies to the audience.

This sequence of questions was only made possible by resorting to extraordinary recipes
by Gino Ravioli the Chef, but the second head of Executive replied that, in the opinion of economic experts, «this is the appropriate means in a situation of slowing down economic activity». And denied claims of bisexuality.

Monday, February 09, 2004

Look, now it's even more fun

This might not be very original, but it's still a trace of contemporary society. Other than the cosmopolitanite love for Ally McBeal (well ok, its a good series), Magnolia (ok, that was good too - but way too damn long) and the like, women speak in an international code that they all seem to be able to understand.

And this is totally obvious when they get that knowing look on their faces after watching a pad advertisement on television - while us men just stare at it like an ox at a cow poo.

First of all, the ads all come from Spain. Is it that spanish women bleed more? If this is anything of a criteria, then i'd say that wives of islamic fundamentalists would be a much better example, with all their ripped off clitorises. And one must consider that spanish women do have a lot of facial hair.

This metaphoric world is totally bizarre, but taken in with fantastic naturality. Today, they go on trips to Mexico, rollerblade, feel free, ride around on the back of turtles, play tennis, i feel fresh and light, bathe in the lagoon, eat haggis, drink lemonade while fasting, play chess with a mongoloid, watch The Price Is Right with venezuelan pesos, skydive without the dangerous bloody rainfall, run around in circles like a mindless girl, have dinner out with Colin Powell, pretend not to have abdomen pains, oral sex with ponies, get all hysterionic over nothing, do a handstand on a pie, apply for a Chicago Bulls membership, light up all the candles available, filing toenails in a sequence of odd numbers, artistically wax herselves, call everyone at 4 in the morning, find out what a pubalgy is, dance the samba with tibetans, shave the elbows until they bleed and pour salt and lemon on the wound, drink 49 shots of white sauce, put head out of the train before entering a tunnel, wake up to breakfast in bed (literally), make a tent, elaborate a thesis on scientology, dye the hair vomit green, tattoo "i eat mipoo" on cheeks, and lots lots of other oh so nice things.
A slip of intelligence

Extremely interesting is the stance of the german soccer club Eintracht Frankfurt that, according to a SporTV news reporter, is "struggling to not escape depromotion."
Novidade

im back to using headliners. you missed them, didnt you? im rejoicing so much that im not even using capitals.

Sunday, February 08, 2004

Cannibal Lesbian Hoedown! HAHA!

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Some things that piss me off.

"You got a few points down in my consideration." - Ah, we're so important. Your consideration means everything to me, for you are such a special person. You even keep scoreboards for people, which says a lot about your personality. Suck it.

"That wasn't funny." - But who are you to be telling me if i was funny or not, i wonder. And who asked for your opinion? Next time i want your opinion, you just open up your butt since its what you always do.

There's more, but this is a recurring subject.

Monday, February 02, 2004

Irony:

You and me: start a club for people who dont like other people.
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I here declare open season on parenthesis.
POSTO TEMPLATO!